In many professional situations self-confidence is almost necessary. But it can be put to the test. Our solutions to preserve it.
You hold a position of responsibility, you manage a team of several collaborators, you are dealing with clients sometimes dissatisfied, you must sell a great idea in a meeting, you pass an individual interview of evaluation … In all these cases, the confidence is paramount.Unfortunately, it is not always there. It’s hard for you to admit it, but sometimes you lose it. Which is never very comfortable. So how do you get back on top when you need it the most?
“This means that you realize that your confidence falters and that you will do everything to restore” said Anna Piot, therapist and coach. According to her, there are “tools” to pass these moments of “inner insecurity” in the best conditions. As for Isabelle Mashola, founder and president of Isahit (Internet platform that aims to help reduce poverty in the world), and Dominique Brogi, president of Meetphone (publisher of mobile applications), they share their experience Faced with such situations.
“Nothing can be defended if confidence is not there,” says Dominique Brogi. It must have really pegged to the body when, as for her, multiple decisions to be taken throughout the day. It may happen to him to undergo criticisms, to pass through moments of turbulence in the presence of customers. But it never breaks down. His secret? “I do not consider that these are personal attacks for the simple reason that I remain attentive,” she explains. In order not to be destabilized, she questions her interlocutor and asks her to clarify her thoughts. For her, this openness is required and maintains a constructive dialogue “It is not a question of being defensive or claim but to understand what the other has to say. The goal is to be in the exchange, even if we disagree. I do not impose anything but I remain convinced by the service I sell and I bring the arguments to answer. I remain in the facts and not in the affective. ”
The view of Anna Piot : “Everything is the adopted posture, how to stand facing each other. The aim is to analyze what is happening in itself, even during the dialogue. Breathing plays a major role. Slow inspirations and expirations help to calm inner panic and prevent thought from getting carried away. It is important to reconnect to his sensations and to find an external support that reassures: a picture in the room, a soothing mental image, the heat of the cup, an object in his pocket, people in meetings who look at us with kindness … If, nevertheless, the link does not succeed in establishing itself, one must keep its objective in mind and propose to the interlocutors to find a solution together. Because what they want is to be listened to and to see their needs taken into consideration. ”
Recognize your strengths
To overcome difficult situations, Isabelle Mashola advises to appeal to her strengths to move forward. “In France, we have this unfortunate tendency to point out our faults and to devalue our most beautiful qualities. It’s the opposite of what we should do, “she insists. For example, she excels in explaining, animating a community … On the other hand, she does not like numbers. In this case, the entrepreneur uses a specialist. “This attitude helps me put the bar of requirements to an achievable and reasonable level. Because if I put this bar too high and if I can not manage, I risk generating stress, thus losing my means, “she acknowledges. It has adopted this rule: seeing the positive in every situation necessarily entails a positive.
The view of Anna Piot: “The goal is to know yourself, both qualities that her faults. It is not a weakness to recognize its limits. Identifying them makes it possible to know what it is useful to work with, the skills to be acquired in order to better surpass them. This is how self-confidence is nourished and preserved. ”
Do the best
For Dominique Brogi, it is useless to make the brush, to oversell its products and services at the most critical moment. His credo: faced with a problem, never panic and think quietly, especially when the situation does not go as planned. In a former professional life, she had to demonstrate a machine … which did not work. Instead of “victimizing” and spreading excuses, she returned the situation to her advantage. “The customer had moved especially to see the demonstration. I then explained that I had seen the machine at work and I praised it all its advantages, “she recalls. The customer purchased the product. Moral of history: conviction is communicative! The same observation was made by Isabelle Mashola: “You must be able to express your feelings or your difficulties, and find solutions together to unblock the situation. Nobody is perfect. The goal is to do the best we can. That’s my motto !”
The view of Anna Piot : “No need to make a mountain out of a tricky situation. It must be said that it does not matter, that it will pass. I advise you to project over three months and consider the impact on your life. This tactic allows to step back, to minimize the emotional impact. It is better to find a solution instead of staying on the block. So it’s better to jump on the moving train and accept the situation. If the interlocutor remains discontented, this must also be accepted. There is no reason to question its values in the event of disagreement with the opposing party. What the latter expresses has nothing to do with what one really is. It’s important to know what to do. ”
Know how to surround yourself and enjoy yourself
Taking care of yourself helps to maintain this condition. “It’s important to recharge your batteries, to have fun,” says Isabelle Mashola. For her part, she does good by surrounding herself with realistic, positive, warm people. “They do not tell me,” How are you going to get there, “but” it’s going to be difficult but we believe in you, you will succeed! “. What changes everything and makes me want to give the best of myself, “she says.
Dominique Brogi, finds a loophole in the sport: “To remain at the top, it is necessary to be able to oxygenate and to defase morally. The practice of a sport reboots my energy. This inevitably has a positive result on the quality of my sleep. This positively conditions my mindset the next day. “A virtuous circle that feeds like trust.
The view of Anna Piot: “Self-confidence is not innate. It develops according to the experiences, talks and is reinforced every day. Thinking about yourself and keeping your inner serenity is part of it. ”